Should I Go Or Should I Stay?

By: Marilyn Vilyus

The answer to this question will change your life forever – no one can answer it for you. It’s easy for friends and family (even lawyers) to act like your decision to be obvious. Such a life-changing decision is rarely obvious. However, in the few instances where it is true, guidance can make your path easier.

If you (or your kids) have been physically abused:
Don’t walk out – Run! Sometimes this is easier said than done. It’s complicated, I know. How will you survive? Where will you go? Where can you take your kids? How will they stay in school? How will it affect your case if you leave your house? How can you keep your spouse from finding you?

These are just a few of the worries complicating this situation, but there are also many people who can have the resources and knowledge to guide you through this process. There are many support groups, non-profit shelters, and legal avenues that you can explore. Your safety, and that of your children, is more important than anything else!

If your spouse has already filed for divorce:
Even if you don’t want a divorce, your spouse has already begun the divorce process. This means that a lawsuit has been filed and a trial date will be set by the Court. Except for a small number of cases, it is likely that your divorce is "inevitable" and, if you are in Harris County, you will probably be divorced by six to nine months.

At this point, it may be in your best interest to discover your own legal options. This can help you make sure that your property settlement is fair and enforceable.

If you or your spouse needs support while the divorce is pending, a Court hearing can be held to determine the following:
– Who will pay which bills?
– Who will live in the house, and who will move out?
– Who will drive which car, make the payments, and pay for car insurance?
– How much cash support (i.e. "interim spousal support") will be needed, and for how long?

These are a few of the issues which will be included in the Temporary Orders. These are filed with the Court to help maintain the "status quo" until your divorce case is finalized.

You may be able to enter into an agreement with your spouse and his or her attorney to settle these issues without having to go to Court. Avoiding court may also help you avoid additional legal fees.

If you have kids, your rights also need to be protected in regards to the following:
– Conservatorship
– Visitation and access
– Your ability to make decisions concerning your children
– Child support
– Health insurance issues, etc.

How these issues are handled while the case is pending often affects your final decree of divorce.

If your spouse has left you and/or has stopped supporting you:
Has your spouse done any of the following?
– Moved out
– Changed the locks to your home
– Stopped depositing paychecks to a joint checking account
– Taken your name off of bank accounts or credit cards
– Taken your credit cards away from you
– Withdrawn large amount of money from the bank, brokerage account or retirement account
– Sold property (e.g. car, furniture, jewelry, etc.) without your consent
– Stopped paying any of the bills (mortgage, utilities, car payment, car insurance, credit cards).

While doing one of the above doesn’t automatically mean your spouse is planning to divorce you, this may be "the beginning of the end." You need immediate legal advice to make certain that your future and best interests are protected.

This is just as important for the spouse with the "only or larger income" as it is for the more financially dependent spouse. Your assets and debts are still a part of the "community estate" until your divorce is finalized.

If your spouse has someone else:
Ouch! I don’t care how bad your marriage is, it hurts to know that your spouse is seeing someone else. An "affair" results in anger, hurt, resentment, self-doubt and anxiety – not to mention, fear, guilt, regret and depression!

There is often a lot of discussion about:
– Who is right?
– Who is wrong?
– Who started it?
– Who did it first?
– Who caused it?
– How it would be different if only………..

While the emotional issues in this situation are obvious and over-whelming, there are legal issues at stake, too. If you are the person who has "left the marriage and moved on" it is important to end your current marriage as quickly as possible.

If it is your spouse who has someone new, it can be tempting to "pretend this is not happening" and hope that your spouse will "come to his or her senses" and want you back. Sometimes, this does happen and couples are able to "forgive and forget" and put the pieces of their relationship back together.

Most of the time, this is not the way this story ends. Regardless, if you or your spouse is having an affair, it is important to call an attorney to find out your legal rights and/or obligations and risks.

What to do first:
Please do know, however, that if you think that any of the above scenarios might apply to you, you should consult with a Family Law attorney as soon as possible. A consultation does not commit you to hiring the attorney. It can help you find an attorney that your feel comfortable with and assess your options.

What if it’s not as bad as all that?
Not all cases are black and white. After all, your decisions from here on can have a large impact on your life and that of any children. Make sure that you voice your questions, whether it is with your attorney or with a loved one. This can help you make an informed decision about your future.

Marilyn Gayle Vilyus is a Houston divorce attorney with decades of experience. In her time helping protect the best interests of her clients, she has seen many scenarios repeated in the divorce process. For more information about her practice, please visit http://www.westhoustonattorney.com/.

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Collaborative Divorce and Divorce Mediation: Which one is right for you?

By: James Armada

For couples undergoing divorce for the first time, resolving issues between parties can be a messy or confusing thing. Before jumping head-on into litigation, it is useful to know that there are other ways to settle things with the other party in a divorce. Knowing what other options are available and deciding on the one that is right for you will take you a step closer to settling things amicably.

Divorce cases vary from couple to couple. What works for one might not work for the other and it will depend on your situation so before choosing which mediation process to go with, make sure you know what procedures are involved in divorce mediation and collaborative divorce.

Divorce Mediation

In most cases, couples new to divorce or are planning one do not know what divorce mediation is. It is important to have a mediation lawyer, especially in reaching an agreement with the other party involved in the divorce. In divorce mediation, the mediator will act as a consultant and will draft your agreement before it is presented to the attorneys or judge. Divorce mediation is especially helpful in decision making between couples, and a good mediation lawyer will not intervene but instead facilitate in the decision making process. The mediator should help you see both sides of the issues to be resolved and help parties communicate you and your spouses perspective on the issues. Once that is clear, the mediator will help you find options that will address both parties' needs.

Collaborative Divorce

Collaborative divorce on the other hand is for people who want divorce mediation, but don't feel at ease negotiating for themselves. In this case, both sides hire a lawyer to advocate their interests in the negotiating process. This process is settled outside the courtroom and ideally, parties who undergo collaborative divorce don't have to. The lawyers of each party will be in the room with the clients to negotiate their needs for them and will then make constructive negotiations on the client's behalf. Mental health professionals can also be included, child specialists, and financial neutrals if the couple asks for them to be included. Including them can give you a broad look at how your decisions will affect the children and finances.

Divorce Mediation and Collaborative Divorce however, both require the parties to be willing to negotiate to resolve issues. Even if you are not sure which route to take, it is best to try these less traumatic, and less expensive divorce options first before going straight to court.

Looking for more advice about divorce mediation and collaborative divorce NJ area? Visit www.UandACPAS.com. We offer free consultation. Let us help you.

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Iranian Muslim Divorce in USA

By: Gabriel Sawma

Muslim men with Iranian passports may choose to go back to Iran and obtain a fast track divorce in that country by stating three times, "I divorce my wife" in the presence of two male witnesses, show proof of the "mahr" payment, record the divorce in Iran, authenticate the documents, return back to the U.S. and seek recognition and enforcement of the Iranian divorce in a state court.

The Family Law in Iran was codified in 1928 and 1935 as part of the Iranian Civil Code. The law set a legal age requirement for marriage, prohibiting the marriage of girls under 13 and requiring court permission for the marriage of those under 15. In 1931, a separate legislation, known as the Marriage Law (qanun-I izdivaj) was enacted; it made marriage subject to state provisions and required the registration of all marriages and divorces in civil registrars. The law of 1931 expanded the grounds on which women could initiate divorce proceedings and required such actions to be brought before civil courts rather than Islamic sharia courts.

In 1967, the Family Protection Law (qanun-I himaya-I khanivada) was enacted. This law was considered a departure from the traditional Islamic sharia. It abolished the husband’s rights to extra-judicial divorce and polygamy, and increased the age of marriage to 15 for females and 18 for males. The law established special religious tribunals, headed by judges trained in modern jurisprudence. This law was criticized by Muslim clergy,

calling it un-Islamic, and was regarded in violation of Islamic shria principles.

In 1975, the Family Protection Law was replaced by another law carrying the same title. This law increased the minimum age of marriage from 15 to 18 for females and from 18 to 20 for males, and provided the courts with discretionary power to decide cases involving child custody, disregarding Islamic sharia provisions.

Following the Iranian revolution or 1979 under Ayatollah Khomeini (1902-1989), the Family Protection Law was annulled and replaced by the Special Civil Court Act. The new law was entirely enacted in compliance with the Shiite law of ithnai Ashar (Twelvers), the courts are empowered to deal with a whole range of family issues, including divorce. According to the new law, legal marriage for girls plummeted to nine; 15 for boys, and members of the Iranian society were strictly segregated along gender lines. Women were forced to put hijab and were not allowed to appear in public with a man who was not a husband or a direct relation such as brother, father, or son. Women could be stoned to death for adultery, which incidentally, includes being raped. But the reformists under former president, Khatami, allowed single women to study abroad and raised the legal age for marriage from nine to 13 for girls. However, a woman’s testimony in Iran is worth half that of a man in court and in the case of blood money that a murderer’s family is obliged to pay to the family of the victim, females are estimated at half the value of a male.

In mid 2007, the government of Ahmadi Najad began enforcing restrictive laws; women wearing too much make-up and not enough scarf were arrested; they were first banned from attending the country’s popular soccer matches held in public stadiums, but later, under pressure, the president allowed women to attend the games on the ground that their presence would be "morally uplifting" and make the men behave better.

The new law requires marriage and divorce to be registered with the courts; the husband has unconditional right to divorce his wife for which he needs not to give any reason and his wife is almost certain to lose custody of her children. The new law allows the wife to divorce her husband under khul’, and even then she would have to present to the court a power of attorney from the husband allowing her to divorce herself on behalf of her husband. A woman is allowed to seek divorce if her husband was insane, impotent or infertile, absent from home without reason, imprisoned, or unable to support his wife. A woman seeking divorce in Iran must provide the court with supporting evidence to get a divorce decree.

Iranian Muslim couples faced with a divorce situation in the United States, see themselves in a dual process of having to go through civil as well as religious divorce, especially for a Muslim woman; she is prohibited by Islamic sharia from marrying a non-Muslim man unless he converts. Divorced Muslim men and women must obtain an additional religious divorce decree from Muslim authorities should he or she decides to remarry in compliance with sharia; civil divorce alone is not recognized in Islam. Under Islamic sharia, a Muslim woman or man is still considered married even though she or he has obtained a civil divorce. Failure to obtain an Islamic divorce before remarrying, the woman would be considered adulterous and might risk her
life if she travels to a country where stoning for adultery is still in place, such as Pakistan, Iran, Sudan, and Saudi Arabia.

American Muslim men with Iranian passports may choose to go back to Iran and obtain a fast track divorce in that country. They get divorce decree by stating three times, "I divorce my wife" in the presence of two male witnesses, show proof of the "mahr" payment, record the divorce in Iran, authenticate the documents, return back to the U.S. and seek recognition of the Iranian divorce in a state court. Divorce obtained in Iran is less expensive to the husband; women get the amount of "mahr" as stipulated in the marriage contract, usually less than what a U.S court may rule on, and the divorce is obtained in a short time, without having to hire an attorney. Islamic divorce does not allow women to receive compensation other than the amount of "mahr" she and her family agreed upon before her marriage.

State courts in the U.S. deal with Islamic divorce obtained overseas on the basis of "comity", a discretionary doctrine that governs the recognition of divorce rendered by the courts of a foreign country. Although occasionally, courts in England and the United States use the term "international comity" in the meaning of general international law, the more accepted concept of this doctrine defines it as rules of courtesy or goodwill which states observe in their mutual relations without any sense of legal obligations under international law. The desire for a Muslim man to obtain divorce from Iran and have it recognized and enforced in the United States, is generally entitled to recognition if it was valid and effective in Iran, and that
Iran was the residence or domicile of both parties or at least one party. In other cases, recognition in the United States of a divorce obtained in Iran will depend on the way the divorce was obtained by mail, by default, by phone, or upon the appearance of both parties. A divorce obtained in Iran should not violate U.S. public policy and cannot be "repugnant" to major principles of U.S. law. State courts have the sole competent to recognize or to deny recognition of a divorce decree obtained in Iran.

Although divorce recognition within the United States is dependent on the concept of domicile, an Iranian divorce may be recognized where both parties appear in the action, even in the absence of domicile. In New Hampshire, a Muslim husband secured a Lebanese divorce, based on Islamic sharia by declaring that he pronounced the divorce of his wife by saying three times "I divorce you" in her presence and by going to Lebanon to consult an attorney and sign divorce papers. The New Hampshire family court refused to recognize the Lebanese ex parte divorce. The court reasoned that the wife would be forced to bear the burdensome cost of an ex parte divorce obtained in a foreign nation where neither party is domiciled.

DISCLAIMER: While every effort has been made to ensure the accuracy of this publication, it is not intended to provide legal advice as individual situations will differ and should be discussed with an expert and/or lawyer. For specific technical or legal advice on the information provided and related topics, please contact the author.

An authorization to republish this article is hereby granted by the author provided that author’s name is attached to the article.

Gabriel Sawma is a lawyer with Middle East background. Professor of Middle East Constitutional Law, Islamic sharia, and Islamic economics. Expert consultant on Islamic divorce in U.S. courts; editor in chief of International Law blog, http://www.gabrielsawma.blogspot.com; Lecturer on Islamic economics, http://www.islamiceconomics101.com; Author of "The Aramaic Language of the Qur’an, http://www.syriacaramaicquran.com; Email:

gabrielsawma@yahoo.com; Tel. (609) 915-2237.

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No-Fault Divorce

By: Steven Tabano

Ending a marriage can be a confusing and emotionally wrenching process, involving many difficult decisions. Most divorces are "no-fault" divorces, meaning the grounds are irretrievable breakdown of the marriage. You do not need a reason to get divorced under the "no-fault" statute. The alternative to "no-fault" divorce is to claim fault grounds, such as adultery, cruel and inhuman treatment, personal indignities or other fault-based
grounds that must be proven in court. Fault grounds can be costly and frequently difficult to prove in court. More importantly, the process of gathering and submitting proof can often be embarrassing and painful - especially for any children of the parties.

What is a no-fault divorce in Pennsylvania?

No-fault divorce is easier to obtain, is less costly and much quicker than in a "fault divorce." A court grants a no-fault divorce when both parties agree the marriage is irretrievably broken.

There are 2 kinds of no-fault divorce:

1. If both parties agree to the divorce, they can obtain a no-fault divorce by consent. One party files for the divorce and, after 90 days has passed from when the complaint is served on the other spouse, each party may file a form called an Affidavit of Consent. You may resolve any other issues you have by agreeing on how you will deal with marital property and/or debt in a Property Settlement Agreement. The court rules require you to file a series of legal documents to complete the divorce. This is the fastest way to divorce in Pennsylvania, but it requires the cooperation of both parties.

2. Unilateral no-fault divorce is available if one of the spouses will not consent to the divorce but the parties have been living separate and apart (defined by the statute as "complete cessation of any and all cohabitation, whether living in the same residence or not") for at least 2 years and the marriage is irretrievably broken. You may file for the divorce before you have lived separate and apart for the 2 year waiting period but you cannot get the divorce until the 2 year period is over. There may be disagreement between you and your spouse about when you separated which would require a court hearing to determine the separation date. Also, you may not be able to obtain a unilateral divorce if there are outstanding issues related to property division or support. You usually must resolve these issues before a divorce will be granted by the court.

While a no-fault divorce is granted on the grounds of irretrievable breakdown of the marriage, it does not resolve other issues that often are involved in a divorce such as support, alimony, child custody and property division. These issues may still need to be resolved, either by agreement of the parties or by order of the court after a trial.

Seeking a no-fault divorce saves the ordeal and costs associated with proving one party's wrongdoing. However, no-fault divorce should not be confused with uncontested divorce. Even a generally amicable divorce often involves some contested issues, and you should contact an experienced lawyer to protect your rights and interests.

Both parties' agreement to get a divorce is not sufficient to achieve a settlement. The desire to "get it over with" is common, but the reality is that all marital issues must be resolved for our courts to grant a divorce. The real challenges are in resolving major marital issues such as: Child custody and visitation, as well as child support (if any minor children are involved), Alimony/spousal support (if sought by either party) and Property division, covering all marital assets and debts.

In cases were a no-fault uncontested divorce is appropriate your divorce can often be completed
in about 90 days for a flat fee. Click here for information about Uncontested Divorces.

Steven R. Tabano, Esquire is an attorney practicing in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. His practice concentrates in the area of Family Law and Criminal Defense. Attorney Tabano has tried many cases in his 20 years of practice and has argued before the Pennsylvania Supreme Court on several occasions. For information about Uncontested Divorces go http://www.divorcehelppa.com/No-Fault-Divorce.html or visit my website at
http://divorcehelppa.com

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The Khul' Divorce in Egypt

By: Gabriel Sawma

Under the rules of divorce in Islamic sharia, a husband has the prerogative right to divorce his wife any time, any place, with or without any reason.

Under certain conditions, the wife may request from the religious judge a judicial divorce in case of ‘harm’ or maltreatment (darar), as stated by the Maliki School of jurisprudence.

Based on the wide interpretation of the Maliki School, the wife may seek divorce if she can convince the judge that she is suffering a ‘harm’ from her husband, a provision that is not allowed by the Islamic Hanafi School of law.

In general terms, Islamic sharia allows the wife to seek divorce under the following conditions: (1) impotency; if the husband is unable to consummate the marriage; (2) his apostasy from Islam; (3) his imprisonment for a long period of time; and (4) if he contracts an incurable skin disease.

The additional ‘harm’ as a cause for divorce in Maliki interpretation of sharia, allows the wife to bring evidence to the judge showing that the husband used systematic maltreatment, and is unable to provide maintenance to her.

Such provisions in Islamic sharia created hardship for thousands of women who were seeking divorce, but unable to prove the ‘harm’ factor to the satisfaction of the judge. Women were unable to get out of their un-happy marriages because their husbands refused to consent to the divorce, and the judges were not persuaded with the evidence presented by the women. To remedy this situation, the Egyptian government enacted a law allowing judges to approve the divorce through a process known as Khul’, or repudiation, without the consent of the husband.

Khul’ was practiced in early Islamic period; it allows the wife to obtain a final divorce by means of a financial settlement paid by her to the husband in compensation, without having to prove of harm or maltreatment. Frequently, under the terms of Khul’, the wife is required to pay back all or part of the "mahr", which is the amount of money or objects of value that the husband gave his wife when the marriage contract was signed. Also, she has to relinquish her right to the amount of "mahr" he promised to give her in the future. In addition, the husband must agree to the Khul’. In other words, should the husband refuse to consent to the Khul’, the wife will be unable to get divorce. Faced with that difficulty, the legislators in Egypt enacted a law in which the judge was given authority to separate the married couple based on Khul’ without the approval of the husband and without having to prove maltreatment.

On January 2000, former President, Hosni Mubarak of Egypt, issued in the Official Gazette [al-Jaridah al-Rassmiyyah] Law No.1, of 2000, granting women the right to file for a "no-fault" divorce (Khul’) on the basis of "incompatibility," without having to provide evidence of harm. Under the provisions of the new law, the wife may obtain a definitive judicial separation from her husband if she desires so; the only condition she has to satisfy is to forfeit her rights to alimony and her deferred "mahr" (mu’akhar) as well as repay her advanced "mahr" (muqaddam).

First section of Article 20 of the new law provides the following: "A married couple may mutually agree to separation (al-Khul’); however, if they do not agree and the wife sues demanding it [i.e., the separation], and separates herself from her husband (khala’at zawjaha) by forfeiting all her financial legal rights, and restores to him the "mahr’ he gave to her, then the court is to divorce her from him (tatliqiha ‘alayhi)."

Before the judge rules on Khul’, he has to order the couple to undergo a process of reconciliation, and after asking two mediators [hukkam] to pursue conciliation efforts between them for a period that may not exceed three months; and after the wife decides explicitly [tuqarrir sarahatan] that she abhors living with her husband and there is no way to continue married life between them, and that she is afraid to transgress God’s limits of this abhorrence.

It is important to note here that while a woman is required to submit to burdensome and time-consuming court-ordered conciliation, men seeking divorce, on the other hand, are never required to make any efforts at reconciliation. The reconciliation process is rooted in the biased notion that women are not capable of making rational decisions on issues related to divorce. According to one prosecutor in Cairo, mediation was necessary because "a woman may be hasty in filing for a divorce and may not have a strong keenness in keeping the family together. The court has to play this role and intervene. Men are more wise and rationale than women. A woman’s emotions can overcome her rationality". (See Divorced from Justice: woman’s unequal access to divorce in Egypt, Google eBook, p.28).

Section 3 of Article 20 states that the separation order of the judge is "an irrevocable divorce [talaq ba’in]"; and the court’s decision is not subject to any form of appeal. Article 20 of the Egyptian law of 2000 does not accord legal weight to the husband’s consent to the terms of Khul’ divorce.

This is based on the Sunnah literature, embodied in the Islamic canonical collections of the sayings and deeds of the Prophet of Islam, and especially the collection of Sahih al-Bukhari, which contain an authenticated version of Muhammad’s handling of the Habiba separation case in which he ruled to separate her from her husband without asking the husband’s permission.

Although Article 20 of the Egyptian Personal Status Law, which grants women the right of Khul’ is considered a significant accomplishment by women’s rights activists, it is harmful to women’s financial rights because the wife is forced to give up her mahr, alimony and other gifts provided by the husband during their marriage. Poor women, particularly in rural areas, suffer most of this financial loss.

DISCLAIMER: While every effort has been made to ensure the accuracy of this publication, it is not intended to provide legal advice as individual situations will differ and should be discussed with an expert and/or lawyer. For specific technical or legal advice on the information provided and related topics, please contact the author.

An authorization to republish this article is hereby granted by the author provided that author’s name is attached to the article.

Gabriel Sawma is a lawyer with Middle East background. Professor of Middle East Constitutional Law, Islamic sharia, and Islamic economics. Expert consultant on Islamic divorce in U.S. courts: Email: gabrielsawma@yahoo.com; Tel. (609) 915-2237.

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Pakistani Muslim Divorce in USA

By: Gabriel Sawma

Pakistani men residing in the U.S. travel to their homeland to get divorce decrees from Pakistan. They return back to the United States and seek recognition and enforcement of the Pakistani Islamic divorce decree in a state court. This article deals with the issues related to Pakistani Islamic divorce in U.S. courts.

Following the partition of Pakistan in 1947, the Islamic family law regulating marriage and divorce introduced under the British rule continued to govern until 1961 when the government of Pakistan passed the Muslim Family Law Ordinance (MFLO) to regulate divorce in that country.

The Constitution of Pakistan requires all laws to be brought in accordance with the Quran and the Sunnah which constitutes the deeds and sayings of Muhammad, the prophet of Islam. Chapter 3A establishes the Federal Shariat Court. The law of marriage and divorce is governed by the rules of Islamic sharia.

The law requires the age of males entering into marriage to be 18, and for females 16; there are penalties for contracting under-age marriages, though under age marriages in Pakistan remain valid regardless of the age limit. As to the guardianship issue, the law requires the application of the Hanafi School of Jurisprudence allowing a woman to contract herself in marriage without the consent of her guardian (wali).

The law requires mandatory registration for marriage; failure to register, however, does not invalidate the marriage. Legal constraints are placed on polygamy by requiring the husband to register his marriage at the local Union Council for permission and notification of existing wife/wives. The chairman of the Union Council establishes an arbitration council with representatives of both husband and wife/wives in order to determine the necessity of the proposed marriage. The law requires that the application must state whether the husband has obtained consent from the existing wife or wives. Violation to these rules is subject to fine and/or imprisonment and the husband becomes bound to make immediate payment of "mahr" to the existing wife or wives. However, if the husband does not obtain consent of his existing wife/wives, the subsequent marriage remains valid regardless of the provisions stated in the law; that is because provisions of Islamic sharia are superior to any other law in Islamic countries.

Under the rules of Islamic divorce in Pakistan, a husband can divorce his wife unilaterally, any time, in any place, and, without any obligation to state a reason for divorce. After the husband announces his divorce statement "I divorce you", three times (triple talaq), the law mandates that the husband gives a notice in writing to the chairman of the Union Council. The chairman must forward a copy of the notice of divorce (talaq) to the wife. Non-compliance with these provisions is punishable by imprisonment and/or fine. The law requires that within thirty days of receipt of the notice of divorce, the chairman of the Union Council must establish an Arbitration Council in order to take steps to bring about reconciliation between husband and wife. If reconciliation is failed, a divorce takes effect after the expiration date of ninety days from the day on which the notice of repudiation was first delivered to the chairman. If the wife is found pregnant during the period following the announcement of divorce, the divorce does not take effect until ninety days have elapsed or the end of the pregnancy, whichever is later. Since the 1980s, and in view of the pressure from Islamic sharia scholars, the practice of the courts in Pakistan is that they validate a unilateral divorce by the husband (triple talaq) by pronouncing "I divorce you" three times, despite a failure to notify the Union Council; this is because Islamic sharia allows a husband to divorce his wife at will, without any provision regarding registration of divorce.

U.S. State family courts do not apply Islamic sharia because of violation of the Establishment Clause set in the U.S. Constitution. However, state courts can recognize divorce decrees issued in Pakistan on the basis of a doctrine in private international law known as "Comity". Such recognition does not entail an obligation on State Courts to agree with the rulings of a foreign divorce judgment in Pakistan. The Doctrine of Comity is raised when the husband resides legally in the United States, travels to Pakistan, to obtain an Islamic divorce decree from a court in that country, obtains an easy divorce by just stating three times: "I divorce you", or "I divorce my wife", in the presence of two male witnesses or one male and two female witnesses; pays the deferred "mahr", records his divorce in Pakistan, authenticate the documents through proper channels, travels back to the United States, serves his wife with divorce papers, and then seeks recognition and enforcement of the Pakistani divorce by a State Court.

Recognition of Pakistani Islamic divorce decree by a State court in the United States on the basis of "comity" is not mandatory. State courts may deny recognition and subsequent enforcement if the judge deems the Pakistani law is "repugnant" to a U.S. principle of law. Generally speaking, foreign divorce judgments are recognized on the basis of "comity" if the parties involved receive adequate notices, i.e., service of process, and, generally, provides one of the parties has a domicile in the foreign nation at the time of divorce, and the foreign court has given opportunity to both parties to present their case, and the trial was conducted upon regular proceedings after due citation or voluntary appearance of the defendant, and under a system of jurisprudence likely to secure an impartial administration of justice between the citizens of its own country and those of other countries, and no prejudice towards either party, and should not violate a strong U.S. principle of law.

An Islamic divorce decree in Pakistan differs substantially with respect to property division and the "mahr" stipulation. Under Pakistani Islamic law of divorce, wives are entitled to the deferred "mahr", which is, in most cases, much less than what a State court in the U.S. grants the wife. State courts may not recognize a Pakistani divorce decree if the cause of action on which the divorce is based is "repugnant" to "Public Policy".

Disclaimer: While every effort has been made to ensure the accuracy of this publication, it is not intended to provide legal advice as individual situations will differ and should be discussed with an expert and/or lawyer. For specific technical or legal advice on the information provided and related topics, please contact the author.

An authorization to republish this article is hereby granted by the author.

Gabriel Sawma is a lawyer with Middle East background. Professor of Middle East Constitutional Law, Islamic sharia, and Islamic economics. Expert consultant on Islamic divorce in U.S. courts; editor in chief of International Law, http://www.gabrielsawma.blogspot.com Email: gabrielsawma@yahoo.com; Tel. (609) 915-2237.

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Your emotional journey in the early days following your relationship break up or separation-What to Expect!

By: James Richardson

Following your divorce,relationship break up or separation,you may be surprised and alarmed to experience both the strength and range of emotions that you are currently feeling.

You may notice that your emotions are different to other people who are separated. This appears, in part,to depend on who has ended the relationship- whether its you or your ex partner. The person who suggests the relationship is over may have had many months and often years to think about their decision,therefore they have travelled along the emotional road before their partner. They are also feeling different emotions, probably more guilt,relief and sadness , rather than the shock,rejection, anger, grief and confusion of the partner who is left.

Comment from "Mike", a participant in one of The Divorce Recovery Cent re's "Recovery" workshops who went through his own Separation and Divorce, and who kindly agreed to share his experiences and insights and to appear on the "Recovery" DVD Set we recently produced :

"When i hear about relationships between people , or marriages, whatever the case may be, breaking up, for whatever reason, i feel for them-i really do, because i know the pain they are going to go through-everyone goes through it in one way,shape or form. Initially one will hurt more than the other,in the beginning, normally the "dumpee", the person that gets left behind. The person that leaves, the"dumper",thinks they've done the right thing, and they may have. But at some period of time, maybe at a later stage ,they go through a lot of pain too-in my case 18 months later and i just couldn't appreciate how that could happen: that after 18 months of me making the "decision",i was the dumper, thinking I'd "moved on" and living in what i thought was my own "single man's paradise",after 18 months i found myself falling apart. So i empathize with people-i think we all suffer through it (a relationship breakdown).

It may help you to know,that its very normal for newly separated people to sigh a lot,to feel in a daze.They also sometimes talk much more than normal or say nothing. Sometimes they eat much more and other times they wont eat at all. Its very normal for you to feel as though you are the only single person at the movies or on the beach and that everyone is looking at you. You may feel anxious or scared.You may have trouble sleeping, have a knot in your stomach,or feel empty inside.

You may have trouble trusting people. Newly Separated people sometimes feel they are going crazy.They can cry unexpectedly. All these emotions are very normal.They come and they go.They gradually lessen. Eventually they are forgotten.

At the early stages of your break up,divorce or separation you are probably asking questions like "how can i get over my break up","how can i move on after my separation","how can i feel better after my divorce"etc .The Divorce Recovery Centre was established to support and assist people in your situation. Our experience shows that the "Recovery" process of overcoming the strong emotions felt, following a relationship break up,separation or divorce is a gradual process . Key elements of this "Recovery"process include education , sharing with others in a similar situation, greater understanding, increased self esteem, acceptance,and learning new skills . This exciting, revitalising route, takes hard work and commitment , however the benefits are yours for life! We created my DVD Set "Recovery"to offer people the skills to heal and create a new, fulfilled and complete life. The 3 DVD "Recovery" Set is a very reassuring , interactive and moving guide to help YOU in your "Recovery" process .The Recovery DVD set is unique , we think ,in allowing many people unable to attend our groups and workshops ,to participate in a healing divorce recovery program. Viewers consistently comment that they no longer feel alone in their feelings and experiences after viewing the "Recovery" DVD Set and feel more optimistic about their future.This ,alone, i feel,makes the project very worthwhile and gratifying. Please visit our website for further articles and information on the 'Recovery' DVD Set.

The Divorce Recovery Centre,was established in Sydney ,Australia in 1996. We have an excellent 3 DVD Set , which is a Divorce Recovery Course on DVD!! Please see details at our website below.

www.divorcerecoverycentre.com

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Where Can You Get The Best Lawyer In Adelaide?

By: Scott Custodio

There is usually a belief between us that the marriages take place in heaven. But, on account of some unfortunate motives, it turns to hell on earth. But, it truly is definitely sad to view the frequency of this sort of happenings is raising now times. Although marriage is usually a holy institution, there is certainly no position in suffering the discomfort, is there is certainly no appreciate in involving the associates. Our lawyers in Adelaide will often be ready to help you with that.

There are likelihood to the occurrences of the realization that, there exists not position in heading ahead with these kinds of a romance and so they prefer to conclude it. The divorce is just not in any respect an simple point. There are a lot of psychological variables attached with it. It demands to become accomplished with very much care and caution as it can be a severe problem.

Our lawyers know the seriousness of the problem and they have plenty of expertise behind them.

All you ought to do is always to pick a appropriate lawyer, whom you are able to trust and get you the best conclusion in the suitable time. This is what you are able to anticipate from our lawyers. You'll find several disputes that may be transpired more than the youngster at the same time as the matrimonial components. You have to should be practical and sensible all through that time.

The lawyer in Adelaide is the most effective you may trust and get advices, from the simpler and comfortable manner. It will be the survive thing you would like to get out, when that you are under psychological pressure and discovered yourselves beneath the legitimate complexities. We make certain which you don't have to endure from your legal complexities and all.

Anyways, it ought to also be explained that, it truly is continually better to prevent any situations that lead to divorce. We try our ideal to make the reunion achievable, by talking to both the events and convincing them. But, if a separation is impossible, we will make it done available for you using the lowest hostility in between the functions and with very a smaller amount legal expenses. For more information on divorce lawyer adeladie, visit http://www.lawyerinadelaide.com.au

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Alleging grounds for divorce: Spain

By: Steve Mcgrath

Most countries have varying rules and procedures when it comes to the process for applying for a divorce. Usually this is on the basis of socio-religious grounds and it may be argued that a countries moral and religious norms are reflected in the requirements it enacts for a divorce to be applied for and approved.

Prior to 2005 the legal rules in Spain made it obligatory to offer appropriate grounds for making an application for a divorce. Spain has, however, passed new legislation (Ley 15/2005) which utterly renewed this entire tract of family law and in addition, in so doing, did away with a lot of the old obligations.

For that reason it is no longer imperative to be dependent on the normal allegations drawn on pre-2005 such as drug addiction, alcoholism, infidelity and cessation of matrimonial cohabiting. Now it is merely imperative that three months have passed from the time the marriage took place in order for a divorce to be applied for by either or both of the spouses. No motives are required besides an inclination by one or both of the spouses to part company.

The justification behind the changes was to streamline the system and bring a scintilla of modernity to the fundamental essence of the law in this area. So, either or both of the spouses may write a petition for a divorce and, if there be an agreement as to the important issues therein, may reach the prerequisites for a new process established by the legislation, that is normally known as ‘Express Divorce’.

'Express divorce' permits a faster, less expensive and simpler mechanism for a couple to divorce. A vital element of the Express Divorce mechanism is that there be an accord between the spouses, both as to the need to dissolve the marriage as well as to the precise specifics of the divorce. This takes the form of a written and signed agreement or ‘Convenio’.

When these issues have been agreed then it is just a matter of employing a lawyer who will write up the agreement formally in the form of a ‘Convenio’ and have this submitted to the relevant court with the required additional documentation.

For vital information on this topic as well as a completely free guide on how to deal with divorce issues in Spain please go to: divorce in spain: http://www.myadvocatespain.com/mynewsspain/tag/divorce-in-spain/

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How well could the divorce attorney help you?

By: Bj Krintzmanlaw

Today in the fast moving society, life is becoming fast paced and the human relationships are more with weak foundation which ultimately makes it difficult to have a loving and harmonious relation throughout the lifetime. Heartbreaks and divorces are happening unexpectedly which forces the victims to go to the family courts to get justice. In this case many are in need of good assistance of Weston divorce attorney to represent the case and ensure to get justice. There may arise many issues among husband and wife when they decide to part, like taking responsibility of the children, distribution of the assets and much more. Therefore, the Weston divorce attorney would provide better advice in these aspects.

When you are with some difficult relation with your spouse, then you can approach Newton divorce attorney who would be a mediate between you both to bring a good solution for the conflicts. The Newton divorce attorney will try to create a situation where neither of you lose any significant things in your lives following the breakups in the relationship. This breakup is then legalized and you can become free from your partner and live your life as you want it. The divorce attorney will prepare all required documents and will do all groundwork in order to get the seal of the court on the divorce. It is very important to find an experienced attorney to represent the case in the court who can handle it in an efficient manner.

The Lexington divorce attorney will help to resolve any issues between you and your spouse amicably. He will help you to find the best solution if you have shared your liabilities or assets. Moreover, the Lexington divorce attorney will guide you to share any joint property that you have with your spouse in a better way. The attorney will also help you to sell the joint properties and distributes the proceeds between you and your spouse.

The most tricky and important question that arises during the divorce is, who will take or support the children with their education and upkeep.

The Needham divorce attorney can help you very much in deciding significantly about who will take of the children. The divorce attorney will also help you to plan your children’s education and both the parents’ role in deciding and supporting them. The Needham divorce attorney will take all the attempts to suggest good ideas, plan and seek for a mutual consent from both you and your spouse. The divorce attorney will also help to allocate the resources if you have children together to meet the expenses of the child every month. The next important thing that you need to consider when you want to part from your spouse is, your retirement planning. The Wellesley divorce attorney will help you in a better way to plan your old age. The Wellesley divorce attorney will help you to properly plan your finances and also to overcome the financial difficulties if any.

Here are few way to find more information about weston divorce attorney, newton divorce attorney, lexington divorce attorney, needham divorce attorney, wellesley divorce attorney.

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California State Divorce – How to Start Yours

By: Ed Sherman

California state divorce laws are not that difficult to understand if you have good information. With the right advice, instructions, and explanations, you can get your own divorce started without hiring an attorney, and save a lot of money on legal fees.

This article will provide an overview of California state divorce laws in the context of how you can start your own divorce. You will learn what California law says about the roles of the Petitioner and the Respondent and implications of each role in the divorce.

The Petitioner and the Respondent. According to California Family Law Code Section 2330, every California state divorce starts with a Petition. The legal term for divorce in the code is "dissolution of marriage".

The Petitioner is the person who first files papers and gets the case started. The Respondent is the other party. A Response need not be filed, but it is a good idea, otherwise the inactive person has little say about when or how the divorce is completed, unless there is already a written agreement.

In order to become officially involved in the divorce, the Respondent will need to fill out and file California Family Law Form FL-120 (the Response).

In general, the more both parties participate, the better. After a Response is filed, the divorce can be completed only by written agreement or court trial. Agreement is better.

Equality. Once a Response is filed, the Respondent has equal standing and there is no legal difference between the parties or their rights, and either party can take any available legal step.

The Petition. So if you are the one who will start your divorce, you will be the Petitioner, and you will need to fill out California Family Law Forms FL -100 (the Petition) and FL-110 (the Summons) and file them with the Clerk at the appropriate courthouse. According to California state divorce law (as described in Family Law Code Section 2331), you will then need to serve your divorce papers on your spouse.

The only thing you need to know before you do this is that you want a divorce. The issues can all be sorted out and resolved later. However, it would be smart to learn the basics about California state divorce law before you start.

Advantages to serving the Petition:

Starts the clock ticking on waiting periods. California state divorce law states that the Respondent has 30 days to respond.? Causes automatic restraining orders to take effect, as per the instructions on the back of Family Law Form FL-110 (the Summons).

Has psychological value for Petitioner and tells Respondent a divorce is really going to happen.
Helps establish the date of separation. According to California state divorce law, the date of separation is whenever you can prove that one spouse intended to make a complete, final break (not just a temporary separation), with simultaneous conduct furthering that intent.

Possible downside. Serving papers can upset your spouse and stir up conflict if you don’t properly prepare him or her ahead of time.

Getting a smooth start. Unless your soon-to-be Ex is an abuser/controller, you will probably want to start things off as nicely as possible. An abrupt start will probably increase conflict as an upset spouse is more likely to run to an attorney who will probably make your case more complicated.

So take some time to prepare your Ex and let him/her get used to the idea that a divorce is about to start. If you aren’t comfortable discussing things in person, write a nice letter. Let your spouse know you are committed to working out a settlement that you can both agree to and live with.

Unless you are under time pressure, don’t serve your Summons and Petition until your partner seems ready to receive the papers calmly.

The Response. A Response should be filed within 30 days of receiving the Summons and Petition, but can be filed any time before Petitioner declares the Respondent’s default.

Filing a Response is not an aggressive act. In fact, it is usually a good idea for the Respondent to take part in the action, especially if you have kids or property or debts to be divided. It is easy to do.

The only disadvantages are Respondent’s filing fee of about $320 for a California divorce, and the possibility that you might have to file a questionnaire about your case in order to avoid a case conference hearing.

There are numerous advantages to filing a Response. If there’s no Response, Respondent has little control over when and how the divorce is completed, so the Respondent feels insecure. By filing, Respondent joins the case on an equal standing with Petitioner, so Respondent feels more a part of the process, more in the loop, more confident. Experience and studies show that the more Respondent participates, and understands the California state divorce process, the better the outcome is likely to be.

Ed Sherman is the author of "How to Do Your Own Divorce in California" and the divorce expert attorney famous for founding Nolo Press and the self-help law movement. Since 1971, his books and software have saved divorcing couples BILLIONS of dollars in legal fees. He owns http://CaliforniaDivorceForms.org, where he provides comprehensive advice and tips on how to get the best possible California divorce.

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My Husband Wants a Divorce - Examine Your Role in Your Marriage through Six Questions

By: Belle Smith

"My husband wishes for a divorce"; that is a hard fact you have to accept regardless of whether you like it or not. Yet, it doesn't have to ended that way. Here's six questions you should consider to help you save your crumbling marriage.

Before the darkness of the night puts her into pensive mood, she looks at the ring around her finger. It was right there at the porch where he proposed to her. No, it wasn’t like the movies. He brought nothing else to make the ambiance more romantic but still, she found it the sweetest thing he had done for her. But as she stares at the ring again, a teardrop falls onto her hand. They’ve had big fights recently. Musing on his gestures, justifications and preferences, she concludes, "My husband wants a divorce."

Giving in to separation seems to be the easiest way out. But a wife who values the sacrament of matrimony will ask herself how she can satisfy her husband in different ways. In evaluating her role in their union, she must answer the questions stated below.

Do you thank him for addressing your family’s needs?

Men’s role in our society centers on providing for their families. Centuries ago, they go hunting in the forest and bring food for their families.

Presently, with our gender fair programs, it may not be as emphasized as before but still, they would like to attain that feeling of accomplishment and pride for attending to the needs of his loved ones.

Do you give him enough silence?

Women tend to talk much more than men. When they are strained, confused or contemplative, they need minutes to think by themselves. Though this makes them difficult to figure out, they consider the quiet time golden. If he doesn’t feel like chatting, don’t force him. Though he isn’t verbally communicating, he is still thinking.

Do you directly say what you want?

Another difference between men and women is how they convey their message. The former are straightforward while the latter beat around the bush. This unlikeness causes serious arguments and worse, it makes some wives say, "My husband wants a divorce." Refrain from making long introductions or from letting him read between the lines always. Cut your introductions short and don’t let him decipher your coded words. As much as you can, don’t be ambiguous. You can still do it with tact.

Do you sometimes make the first move in lovemaking?

Let’s face the fact that sex is important for men. Women who are boring in bed disappoint them. If you are too tired to make love, all you have to do is explain and be understood. Moreover, men don’t want to be in the driving seat always. They want their partners to do their share of first moves as well. By the way, men love sexy underwear.

Do you let him hang out with his friends?

Like women, men need the company of friends. Talking about sports, cars, art and current events over some bottles of booze makes them realize there is a world outside their home. Don’t get easily jealous with the time he spends with his friends. Otherwise, he’ll think you want to control his life.


Gain a lot from the questions above? Read deeper tips to conserve your marriage in saving my marriage. After you manage to get over the matter, have long lasting marriage by looking at make my husband love me.

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Telling Your Children About Your Divorce

By: Jeff Miller

If you have kids and you’re getting a divorce, one of the hardest things you’ll have to do is break the news to them. Make no mistake. Telling your kids that mom and dad are splitting up is difficult, but it’s very important that you handle this moment properly. Your kids are about to go through a dramatic change in their life, and you need to make sure everything gets started off as well as possible.

So, just how should you go about telling your kids you’re getting divorced? While this might vary depending upon the amount of marital conflict your kids have been exposed to, your kids’ age, the type of relationships your kids have with each parent, and other various factors, the following tips will provide some good guidance to help you break the news to your children.

First, both parents should try to be present when telling the kids about the divorce. In some cases, this isn’t applicable (e.g. domestic violence in the marriage), but if at all possible, both parents need to be there to tell the kids. And before you talk to your kids, work with your spouse to come up with a plan for breaking the news. Each of you needs to know what you’re going to say beforehand.

When talking to your kids, don’t get into a fight with your spouse. Your kids need you both now more than ever, and it’s your job to be the adults during this troubling time. Keep the peace, and break the news in a calm, loving manner.

Speaking of calm, make sure you remain calm when breaking the news about your Florida divorce to your kids. They’re going to be upset, and there’s no way to know exactly how they’ll react. Understand the pain and confusion they’re dealing with, and don’t make things worse. Stay calm and let them catch their breath.

Of course, your kids will probably have a lot of questions. The amount of information you provide them with in response to their questions will depend on their age and maturity, but do your best to answer all of their questions as clearly as possible.

One of the things they’ll want to know is why you’re getting divorced. You don’t have to go into too much detail, and you certainly shouldn’t start blaming the other parent. Again, stay calm, and give your kids answers.

You need to also explain to your children as best as you can how their lives will be changing in the future. This includes things like where they’ll live, where they’ll go to school, how often you’ll be seeing one another, and so on.

Above all else, remind your kids that both parents still love them very much. Children have a tendency to blame themselves when their parents split up. Let them know that they aren’t the cause and that you will always love them and be there for them no matter what. They need to be comforted now more than ever. Be there for them.

Learn more about Florida divorce and Florida divorce forms online at DivorceYes.Com.

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Coping With Divorce During the Holidays

By: Jeanne Mock

A guide for women going through a divorce who need some help getting through the holidays. Humorously told with the same light-hearted practicality of "Cinder Without Her Fella," the article offers useful advice to get through a tough time in your life.

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love sent to me, There it is…a reference to "love." It’s all over the place during the holidays. Diamond ring commercials, couples shopping arm in arm with hot cocoa,
even Hershey KISSES ring out a holiday tune. It appears the holidays are nothing BUT true love and happiness and smiles. But are they really?

Cinder examines this entire holiday tune and gives her advice on what a woman going through a divorce can do during this " most wonderful time of the year."

Twelve drummers drumming,

This line is probably a bit more realistic about what everyone is feeling during the holidays. Hear drummers drumming in your head? Have a headache?

You are like most people at this time. Making a list, checking it twice, running out after work to do some shopping, eating foods you never would have before…and getting a divorce or newly divorced on top of it all? Can you spell s-t-r-e-s-s? Take a break. To stop the "drumming" start using that iPhone and keep your lists on your phone so you have them with you and you don’t have a million lists on post-its stuck to all sides of your purse. See if you can shop a bit over lunch so your not arriving home at 9:00 at night. Try one appetizer at the party and not all six.

Cinder says: keep it simple, and keep it in perspective.

Eleven pipers piping,

GREAT idea! Take a piping hot whirlpool or bath if you can. Relax for a bit. Shut off the iPhone, the Blackberry and the computer AND the door to the bathroom (provided the kids are safe) and turn on some music, or just the bathroom fan.
Cinder suggests trying to think of NOTHING but maybe a beach on a desert island.

Ten lords a-leaping,

Still feel like you are trying to leap over buildings in a single bound? Make sure you are utilizing family and friends when you can. Can you go in on that gift for your dad with your sister? Can she pick it up and you wrap it this year? Have a "play date" with a friend and her kids. Have the kids play together while you two wrap gifts or make cookies. Questions about your divorce? In the middle of it? Call your lawyer and ask for what you need. A big concern to you may turn out no to be so big after you talk.

Cinder always suggests talking with friends and family and others you can trust and that make you feel good about yourself while giving honest advice.

Nine ladies dancing,

Another good idea! Grab your girlfriends and go out for a night dancing! Doesn’t have to be anything fancy…maybe even that new cowboy bar so you can wear jeans and feel comfortable dancing goofy with your friends.

Cinder also suggests a dance party of your very own—dancing around your kitchen with your favorite 80’s tunes BLASTING can bring great holiday joy!

Eight maids a-milking,

Grab a hot chocolate made from real milk! You need the calcium, the chocolate adds the good taste, and any warm beverage brings comfort—no matter what you are going through! Whip up a batch for you AND the kids –they probably need it too!
Always a lover of her creature comforts, Cinder thinks anything with chocolate HAS to count as something good for you!

Seven swans a-swimming,

Go swimming, take a yoga class, or maybe try a spinning class. Anything to get your body moving and your mind engaged and thinking about something else for a bit besides getting a divorce, being newly divorced or considering a divorce. You do know that a brisk walk around a shopping mall counts too, right?!

Cinder may not feel like jumping into her bathing suit in 10 degree December weather where she lives, but the yoga option sounds warm and cozy.

Six geese a-laying,

Yes, there is going to come a time when you should just give into laying (ok, we know it’s lying…but we had to stick with the theme, didn’t we?) down. A nap can be so good and really refreshing. Holidays are stressful enough, but add a divorce to it and the recipe gets really interesting! Just make sure you are at home when you are napping. Take it from us, napping at work or while driving is NOT good! But give in to a lazy nap on a Saturday afternoon? That’s a winning plan. You’ll be amazed how you feel and what you get done afterwards! Ever since her kindergarten years, Cinder has been a proud endorser of naptime!

Five golden rings,

Hmm…if the divorce is final maybe it is time to bring in those gold rings and see what you can get for them. You know there are gold (ring) guys on every mall corner. We were shocked to walk away with a $200 check a few months back. That could buy a quite lovely holiday gift for YOU! Or think about what you could turn that raw material into – something fresh and sassy, and more in line with the new life you’re heading into! Cinder hears that gold is the new tinsel.

Four calling birds,

Call friends, call family, and again call you lawyer if you have questions. Remember the phone? It’s that thing we used to use before there was e-mail! Really talking with friends and having a laugh even for a few minutes can feel so good afterward. Kind of like the hot chocolate, the ladies dancing, and the hot tub rolled into one! Connecting by voice actually feels especially personal in an e-mail world–try it! Cinder always recommends reaching out and touching someone to keep herself sane.

Three French hens,

Ah the French…they sure know how to do things right. French toast, French bread, French fries. A small amount of comfort food NEVER hurt anyone.

Indulge with a friend and split something so you both feel good and not guilty later.
Cinder believes that anything with "French" in front of it really doesn’t have any calories. It’s practically health food.

Two turtledoves,

Let’s forget about the "doves" part right now and focus on the turtle. Ever feel like a turtle? Kind of slogging along through the mud and not really getting anywhere? Getting through the holidays, and your divorce can feel like that. But in all those fables about the tortoise and the hare who wins? Yup, that steady-paced one who just keeps on keeping on.
Cinder has always like the quote, "Slow and steady wins the race." Nothing wrong with slow and steady at times especially during a divorce.

And a partridge in a pear tree!

Eat pears, apples, bananas and oranges! Fruit is GREAT for you for so many reasons. Splurge and make a mango smoothie or a banana split. Or just enjoy an in-season citrus option this time of year; clementines make us feel like we’re having a big treat! Mom was right—fruit and veggies—oh so good and good for you.

Cinder has never really met a fruit or veggie she didn’t like and even discovers news ones everyday like Asian pears and star fruit. You might not only discover a new fruit during your divorce, but an amazingly new life after it!
Ta da!

You made it through the twelve days of Christmas, in song and in good spirit. Now on to the next 12 days of your life and the next twelve and the next 12…before you know it you’ll be back at Christmas and ready for it like never before!

Jeanne Mock is a co-author of "Cinder Without her Fella," a book for women going through divorce, thoughtfully and amusingly told in a way that you can actually relate to: through the eyes of a modern day Cinderella. http://www.cinderventures.com

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Divorce Law in Colorado

By: Fred Tittle

If you are considering getting a divorce in Colorado, you will need to become familiar with divorce law in Colorado prior to filing for dissolution of marriage. There are certain requirements that must be met or the court may throw out your case or refuse to enter into a final judgment. Here are some of the primary things you should familiarize yourself with prior to taking action:

Residency and Filing Requirements - To be eligible to file for and be granted dissolution of marriage in Colorado one of the parties to the dissolution must be a resident of the state for a minimum of ninety days immediately prior to filing of the petition.

The petition for dissolution of marriage may be filed in the Colorado County of residence of either party to the petition.

There Must be Grounds for Filing: The dissolution document must state the Colorado grounds upon which the divorce is being sought. In addition, the grounds stated must be substantiated with the court. Basically, the grounds must show that the marriage is irretrievably broken. This must be shown either within the petition or through testimony or the court may throw the case out.

Property Distribution: In Colorado, property distribution must be equitable. This is not the same as equal distribution, but based upon the principle of what is fair. The court encourages the parties to enter into an agreement regarding the distribution of marital property.

If an agreement cannot be reached by the parties the court will decide how to distribute the property without regard to alleged "marital misconduct".

The court will consider such factors as the contribution of each spouse to the acquisition of marital property including the value of homemaker contributions, the economic circumstances of each spouse after property distribution, and the consideration of the cost and living situation of any minor children.

Spousal Support: There is no set rule regarding spousal support and not all cases will require it. Whether one spouse will be required to support another either on a temporary or permanent basis is decided on the circumstances of each individual case and may be agreed upon by the parties of by the court's discretion.

Child Custody: Colorado courts will attempt to lessen any emotional trauma of the children of divorcing couples. When parents cannot come to an agreement regarding child custody arrangements the court will establish a custody order. In some cases the court may appoint an attorney to represent the best interests of the children when deciding how parental responsibilities are to be divided between parents.

Divorce is forever. Careful thought should be given by anyone who is considering the dissolution of their marriage to all of the consequences of the action. Before beginning the action of filing for dissolution, be sure to become familiar with the divorce law in Colorado either through research on your own or by contacting an attorney with experience in this area of the law.

Cheap Lawyers USA Offers free legal information. Find cheap divorce lawyers in the USA. http://www.cheap-lawyers.us/

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Grounds For Divorce In New York State Law

By: Tyrone Rothwell

1. Irretrievable breakdown.

Divorce is granted between you and your spouse if the relationship has been broken for at least six months. However, if you filed for divorce before October 12, 2010, you’re ineligible to divorce on these grounds. A divorce will be denied if the couple who is seeking a divorce fails to reach a settlement regarding the property they acquired during their marriage. There must also be a settlement in place regarding custody and visitation rights; as well as spousal and child support.

2. Abandonment.

New York allows divorce if your spouse abandons you for at least a year. In this case, abandonment means your spouse either kicked you out or left you without any intentions of returning. To divorce on these grounds, you and your spouse must have reached a settlement regarding custody visitation, property, spousal and child support.

3. Adultery.

Divorce is granted if your spouse commits adultery. It should be noted, however, that if you encourage your spouse to cheat or engage in sex with him or her after learning about the affair, then you won’t be granted a divorce. Divorce is also denied if you’re the cheating spouse.

New York divorce laws don’t grant divorce to couples if more than five years have passed since infidelity happened. You can’t testify in a divorce ending in adultery. Instead you must have someone else as a witness.

4. Separation agreement.

A divorce is granted to married New York couples who have lived separately for at least a year as a result of signing an agreement of separation.

Prior to the finalization of divorce, both parties are expected to obey this signed agreement.

5. Cruel and inhuman treatment.

Cruel and inhuman treatment means you’re in danger physically or mentally if you continue living with your spouse. This is based on verbal and/or physical abuse.

If this abuse happened over 5 years ago, you can’t divorce on these grounds. Your spouse even has the right to object to these grounds.

6. Imprisonment.

A New York judge will grant a divorce to a spouse whose husband or wife is incarcerated for three years or longer. A divorce can not be granted if the spouse’s incarceration happened more than five years ago and he or she is now free.

7. Judgment of separation.

If you and your spouse live separately because of a "judgment of separation" or a "decree of separation," for at least a year, then you can seek a divorce on these grounds. All the stated conditions in the decree or judgment must be obeyed by both parties.

Looking for experienced New York state divorce lawyer? With more than 10 years of successful practice, we are ready to give our best. Visit our web page for more information. http://www.newyorkstatedivorce.com

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Are you lonely and bewildered about a relationship breakup and want help to get your ex back?

By: Timothy Welch

You already know how grueling it is to just wake up and roll out of bed in the morning. You leave your radio off on your way to your job because every song is a painful reminder of him. You can't even bear to eat at the same restaurants you took her to. And if that isn't bad enough, you have to deal with the loss of friends and family that are on "their side". But here's some good news... Most relationships CAN be salvaged! You may find it difficult to believe that almost every break up for whatever reason…betrayal, plain old lost passion, loss of interest, a stolen heart and worse...even the worst situations you could conceive…like men serving prison terms have salvaged their relationships. Yes, even Ex-convicts have reunited with girlfriends and wives after being away for years! It doesn't matter if you were the one that got left or did the leaving your pain is real and can be healed. Find out everything you need to know to feel better within twenty-four hours. It's true you could be feeling significantly better one day from today. The Magic of Making Up System can... Show you how to take COMPLETE CONTROL OF THE BREAK UP and make your ex become extremely attracted to you and want to have sex with you every day of the week! …Yes it is realistic with "The Instant Reconnect Technique" (my favorite technique). You can use these secrets right now to make your ex… Come CRAWLING BACK TO YOU on their knees while they are begging you to take them back! However, I must STRONGLY CAUTION YOU…the advice and techniques are VERY unconventional. Relationship counselors get REALLY ANGRY because they are charging a lot of money (sometimes for months and even years) and you could do just one of the procedures in the book…

And next thing you know... you’re back together with your ex. I just don't believe that any amount of sitting in a classroom can make up for the REAL WORLD experience that you will learn. Human psychology plays a big part in the approach to getting back with an ex. Unconventional techniques and relational psychology is a large part of the Magic of Making Up. It will lead you toward a recovery just like thousands of other separated people have experienced. Your pain could be gone, faster than you can begin to imagine, forever, if you’re willing to follow the system.

How would it feel to wash away your pain, to remove the knot eating you up from the inside? "Do you want all the magical behavior controlling advice to get your ex back?"

I am currently interested in tips on how to get your ex back because I’ve recently been through a relationship break up.

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What Divorce Mediation Service Offers

By: Stephanie Patcher

No matter how smoothly a divorce goes, stress and uncertainty will reign supreme. Some very significant changes will be happening for both spouses once the divorce is official, not to mention all the legalities that one has to deal with throughout. A person enduring all this may find it rather easy to be discouraged and not feel good about their future. A divorce mediation service however can help spouses not only agree to terms, but plan their lives going forward. Divorce occurs often because faith and trust have been lost. Divorce mediation can help put your life back into perspective and make the right decisions.

Facilitates Understanding

A mediator is there to bring both sides together to work through all the issues. They bring organization into the picture. A divorce happens much of the time because the couple isn't seeing eye to eye. So having to negotiate the terms without a middle man probably isn't a good idea in many cases. A mediator can take the emotion out of the discussion, which is quite important. Having another person in the room who is completely objective can really help both spouses work things out.

The primary purpose of mediation is to find a middle ground that works best for both parties involved. Until this happens, a divorce can't become official. Mediators however are well-equipped to provide solutions to all the disputes.

A mediator has far more knowledge and familiarity than both spouses. They can bring up ideas that would otherwise have never been thought of.

Doing so can allow for considerable progress towards a resolution. In essence, a mediator can really help both sides get what they want. It's easy for the two spouses to display anger towards one another during these negotiations, but having a mediator present can diffuse the tension that can sometimes build.

As mentioned, divorce mediation is designed to help both spouses get back on their feet following their divorce. If children are involved, then it will figure out the best way to meet their needs. Of course, who gets custody of the children will be resolved, in addition to spousal support. Finances are a touchy subject in a divorce, and mediation will bring objectivity to the situation.

One of the main attractions of this service is the amount of money saved. Saving thousands will provide both sides with more financial freedom as they begin a new chapter in their lives.

So to say that divorce mediation service helps would be an understatement. Therefore, anyone seeking a divorce would be wise to strongly consider this path.

Read More: How Much Does Divorce Mediation Cost?, Save My Marriage Today

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Are you currently Still Suffering After Your Divorce is Over?

By: Deborah Haines

Many people hope that immediately after divorce paperwork is finalized they'll feel much better because the process is over and adequate time has passed. For some this will not be the situation and just because the legal portion has been settled doesn't imply that your work to be finished on the emotional aftermath has concluded. People coping with a divorce could possibly have only dealt with the legal end of matters all through proceedings and so the emotional component nevertheless lingers. For other individuals, the emotional divorce is an incredibly difficult process which will take an extended time for you to resolve. No matter the circumstances, it's by no means too late to get started on divorce counseling to tackle the difficulty in ending a marriage and learn how to begin the next phase of life.

Post divorce counseling is an incredible way for individuals to address difficulty experienced as a result of such an big change. An issue that many experience dealing with divorce is discovering who they may be as a single individual. Men and women routinely experience difficulty discovering their identity after divorce and divorce therapists are helpful in guiding people on this journey to locate self confidence and comfort in themselves as a person. Individuals become accustomed to being inside a romantic relationship and might have a very difficult time in the new role they have in life as being a separate entity. When going to counseling for divorce, people are able to address the upset of their marriages ending so that they will get to a place where the development of a new life along with a fulfilled self are the focus.

Individuals envision their life built with a partner and so plans have not most likely been laid out around the premises of constructing a existence on your own. Divorce counseling can help people today dealing with divorce to make a fresh daily life for themselves with new goals and dreams. For individuals who did not have a powerful concept of who they have been prior to marriage, or sacrificed their very own interests throughout marriage,

this generally is a very challenging undertaking. People might feel stuck and hopeless simply because they have no notion considering they've no vision for the long term and hence no notion of the upcoming action. Speaking with divorce counselors or possibly a divorce support group could stimulate thoughts of a new future to get prepared that will kick start the forward movement.

Divorce counseling is often effective to all those deciding if they want to conclude a marriage and also any person inside the undertaking of divorcing but just simply because a divorce counselor was not consulted then won't suggest that your opportunity has been missed. After divorce therapy is incredibly sensible for individuals who are struggling with the dissolution of their marriage and there isn't any shame in needing guidance when the lawful divorce has concluded. The actual difficulty and work lies within the emotional divorce and there is strength to be discovered in the aid of a divorce counselor.

Coping with a divorce is very difficult. Post divorce therapy is an extremely helpful tool to help you move on in life.

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Islamic Divorce in New York State

By: Gabriel Sawma

Muslims residing in the State of New York are in a dual situation when it comes to the implementation of family law. On one hand, they are governed by the religious law of Islam, known as Islamic sharia, and on the other hand, the secular family law of the state of New York. To Muslims, the family law of Islam mandates that marriage and divorce among Muslims should be done in accordance with the Islamic sharia, regardless of whether they live in an Islamic or secular country. Civil divorce decrees obtained by secular courts are not recognized by Islamic sharia.

Under Islamic law, a Muslim man may marry a non-Muslim woman, whereas a Muslim woman is prohibited from marrying non-Muslim man. Under these rules, a non-Muslim woman marrying a Muslim man in compliance with Islamic sharia is subject to the rules of Islam in the areas of divorce, child custody and inheritance. In other words, a non-Muslim woman who gets married to a Muslim man in accordance with Islamic sharia, loses custody of  her children in case of divorce, or in case the husband dies. Consequently, a non-Muslim woman marrying to a Muslim man is forced, under the rules of Islamic sharia, to surrender custody of her son when he reaches the age of seven, and her daughter at the age of nine. She also prohibited from inheritance. These rules are applied throughout Muslim countries with a system of sharia-based family law in place.

Marriage Contracts in Islamic Sharia

Under the rules of Islamic sharia, the marriage contract should include: (1) names and addresses of the couple; (2) name of the guardian of the bride; (3) names and addresses of two male witnesses; and (4) the amount of ‘mahr’, or a promise of money or its equivalent to be given by the husband to the bride. Like any other civil contracts, Islamic marriage contract should be in the form of offer and acceptance by the parties.

Contrary to the popular notion that mahr is dowry; it is not. A dowry is what the wife contributes to her marriage while mahr is an obligation on the husband to pay his future bride. Others call it a ‘gift’; it is not a ‘gift’ either, because mahr is an obligation on the husband and is mandated by the Quran. The Quran calls it ‘sadaq’ (Quran 4:4). If no stipulation of mahr is provided in the marriage contract, the marriage remains legal and in effect; in such a situation, the "qadi" (judge) will determine the amount of mahr, which remains a property of the wife alone. The amount of mahr can be paid partially: up-front (Arabic, muqaddam), and deferred until divorce or death of the husband (Arabic, mu’akhar), or it may be prepaid in full before the consummation of the marriage.

Legal Status of the Mahr Provision in Islamic Law

The most important feature of the mahr provision is that one party makes an offer and the other can accept or refuse to accept. It is a financial settlement between the couple in case a divorce occurs or the husband dies. Although, Muslim women do not personally bargain for the mahr agreements, and, in almost all of the divorce cases that I have seen so far, in the Middle East, Europe and the United States, Islamic marriage agreements involving mahr are negotiated by the representative (Arabic Wali) of the bride.

In the State of New York, an Islamic marriage contract involving mahr may be considered premarital agreement for a divorce settlement. In legal terms, this is called a concurrence of wills or meeting of the minds of the future husband and his future wife. This also means that each party from an objective perspective engaged in conduct manifesting their acceptance, and a contract was formed when both parties met such a requirement.

The basic rule is that a premarital contract will be interpreted and enforced in accordance with the law of the state in which it was entered into.

Thus an Islamic marriage contract signed in Egypt according to the Egyptian law for example, must be interpreted according to the law of Egypt. The Restatement of the Law Second Conflict of Laws 3d, Chapter 8, Contracts, is clear about the law for the state chosen by the parties to a contract.

The text of the Restatement reads: "(1) The law of the state chosen by the parties to govern their contractual rights and duties will be applied if the particular issues is one which the parties could have resolved by an explicit provision in their agreement directed to that issue."

Looking at both academic and case studies in this area of law, this article points the reader in the direction of the current trends in the treatment of mahr in New York State and to address Islamic family law issues relevant to New York State law and the working of its legal system. The mahr provision in an Islamic marriage contract has been interpreted differently in other states. For more information on treatment of mahr in other states, the individual should seek legal advice.

Interpretation of the Mahr in New York State

Muslim men and women assert their Islamic legal rights in American family courts; as a result, Islamic sharia governing their marriages and divorces becomes an important and complicated part of the American legal landscape. This leads to a discussion of court cases involving Muslim marriage and divorce litigations in the State of New York, as well as whether New York courts will enforce the terms of Muslim marriage contracts, mainly the mahr provision.

New York courts have jurisdiction over divorce cases within its territory, with specific focus on premarital contract structured in accordance with foreign laws. And, various state courts have found no public policy prohibition in enforcing such agreements. In New York, a mahr agreement may be interpreted within the context of a contractual obligation.

In Aziz v. Aziz, the couple entered into a mahr agreement which required the payment of $5,032, with $32 advanced and $5,000 deferred until divorce. The New York court ruled that the contract conformed to New York’s contract requirements, and that "its secular terms are enforceable as a contractual obligation, notwithstanding that it was entered into as part of a religious ceremony." (See Aziz v. Aziz, N.Y.S.2d at 124).

In this case, the husband argued that the mahr agreement provided in the Islamic marriage contract could not be enforced because it was a religious document and was not enforceable as a contract. The wife responded by stating that although the mahr is a religious stipulation; its secular terms can be properly enforced by the court. The court agreed with the wife and ordered the husband to pay the deferred mahr. The court found that the mahr agreement complied with the necessary statutory requirements to be recognized and enforceable as a premarital agreement and held that the secular terms of the mahr agreement were "enforceable as a contractual obligation, notwithstanding that it was entered into as part of a religious ceremony." The court stated that the mahr agreed to by the couple constituted a secular debt of $5,000 and ordered the husband to fulfill the terms of the agreement.

The case was based entirely on another New York of Appeals case of Avitzur v. Avitzur involving a Jewish Ketubah in which a Jewish woman sued for specific performance to force her ex-husband to appear before a Beth Din (Jewish Court). Under Jewish Law, only a man can grant a divorce, or "Get". Until he does, the woman cannot remarry within the Jewish faith to anybody. Her children will then be considered illegitimate. In order that a "Get" may be obtained, both husband and wife have to appear before the Beth Din. The husband refused to appear, leaving the woman in a state of marital limbo, making her an "agunah." The New York Court of Appeals found that the Jewish ketubah constituted a valid premarital agreement that could be enforced despite the religious underpinnings of the agreement.

Conclusion

As the second largest religion, and with the number of Muslims immigrating to the United State on the rise, American courts are more frequently looking into Islamic divorce litigations between Muslim couples. Out of respect to Islamic law and culture, American courts attempt to apply certain provisions from Islamic sharia, such as the mahr contract in divorce cases involving Muslim couples. By doing so, American courts risk involving their arguments with gender and economic inequalities between Muslim men and women, leaving Muslim women destitute. The application of mahr agreements in Islamic divorce in the United States prevents women from exercising their rights to equitable distribution of marital assets upon divorce. If the courts need to extend their respect to Islamic law in divorce situations, they should look into whether the wife had a choice in signing the mahr agreement. Muslim women do not personally bargain for the mahr agreements, and, in almost all of the divorce cases that I have seen so far, in the Middle East, Europe and the United States, the Islamic marriage agreements involving mahr are negotiated by the representative (Arabic Wali) of the bride. Other states do not regard the mahr to be a premarital contract. Individuals seeking information on the treatment of mahr by other states should seek legal advice from a competent attorney.

DISCLAIMER: While every effort has been made to ensure the accuracy of this publication, it is not intended to provide legal advice as individual situations will differ and should be discussed with an expert and/or lawyer. For specific technical or legal advice on the information provided and related topics, please contact the author.

Republishing of this article is hereby granted by the author.

Gabriel Sawma is a lawyer with Middle East background; Professor of Middle East Constitutional Law and Islamic sharia; Expert consultant on Islamic and Hindu divorce in U.S. courts; Member of the Lebanese Bar Association of Beirut; Associate Member of the New York State Bar Association, and Associate Member of the American Bar Association; Editor in chief of International Law blog: http://www.gabrielsawma.blogspot.com Email:

gabrielsawma@yahoo.com Tel. (609) 915-2237

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Dallas Family Law Attorney

By: Maria Fox

Aspects of Family Law practiced by a Dallas Law Firm

Matters of the dissolution of marriage and all aspects of conservatorship and child support are aspects of Family law that requires a lot of expertise.

There are, however, many other parts of family law where expertise is require. Areas such the grandparent's rights in divorce, the relocation of the children, Alimony, Premarital agreements and the validity of post marital agreements are some of these.

Pre- and Post marital Agreements.

In a Prenuptial agreement the parties intending to get married lay out the rights and duties of each spouse in the contract of marriage. To be enforceable they have to be signed prior to the actual nuptials taking place. There is no set format for a prenuptial agreement and the terms may vary dramatically depending on the circumstances of the parties at the time. Because of the long term possible effects of hastily signing such an agreement both parties are strongly advised to get legal representation to clearly spell out the significance of the terms. Experts in representing their clients in the drawing up of prenuptial agreements should be appointed to ensure that any pre-nuptial agreement is just and fair.

Post nuptial agreements tend to be more difficult to enforce in the courts. Nevertheless, if the marriage is in trouble or going through attempts to reconcile a post marital agreement may be entered into to outline what will happen in the event of a divorce. Experts at handling such matters should be appointed..

Spousal Maintenance (Alimony).

This is uncommon in Texas and only possible in a very limited set of circumstance where a marriage of over 10 years duration ends in divorce and the other party was guilty of a judgment of domestic violence within 2 years of the divorce. In these circumstances Spousal maintenance is possible and  experienced attorney with lots of experience in Family Law matters should be found to advise their clients and represent them in hearings.

The dissolution of a homosexual relationship.

Single sex marriages are not recognized by the State of Texas. Nevertheless it has now become possible for partners to contract with each other. In the drawing up of the contract of cohabitation and the winding up thereof it is advisable to have family law attorneys with experience and expertise in these matters.

Child Relocation.

If the conservator needs to relocate away from a place where the non custodial parent can no longer easily exercise their visitation and parental rights a whole lot of issues come into consideration. Legal representation is vital in either case and an experienced and competent family law firm should be appointed. In any event it is the requirement of the moving parent to return to court to apply for a relocation amendment. The judge may or may not grant such a request or may do so adding costs to be borne by the relocating parent because of the additional expense of maintaining a parental relationship with the child.

Dallas Family Law Attorneys with skill and expertise in these fields may be appointed to ensure that the rights of each individual are cared for.

Dallas Family Law Attorneys provide you with the compassion and personal attention you need during a difficult time while relentlessly pursuing your rights. To learn more about the Dallas Child Support Attorneys, you can visit www.TheMayFirm.com.

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